.:d' BaSkeTcaSe:.

am hurt

2008-11-26T21:01:00.002+08:00

24th Nov 2008

~ am getting a year older
~ am 1st time celebrating my birthday as a sumone's wife (supposely)
~ am shud hv a nice day n hvg as much fun on this day with d guy dat i love most

::YES::

# i thanked so much to my parents for coming down to KL just to celebrate it
# i thanked both of my beloved sist and my bro for remember it..for wishing me on my birthday
# i really appreciate my best fren; sha+ken+lisa who being the earliest one wishing my birthday
# i highly appreciate my OPPA, hankee..for treating me during lunch...and bought me secret recipe's cake which i never ask
# n i thanked others who wish me via sms, facebook, friendster

::BUT::

* i waited..n waited..n still waiting until now.. A BIRTHDAY WISH from my HUBBY..

am hurt.
really hurt.
just like waiting for nothing.
just like waiting for a rock to melt.
Y it happened to me?
Y he didn't remember?
Y after am being his wife?
am not sulking..
am just tooooo sad..
very dissaponted.
felt like am not precious to him.
i always hope..
that he'll be the most wonderful guy in my life.
loving me like there's no others in this world.

but it's too far to reach
too far to catch
too far to see
too far to touch
n too far to feel

am cold
my heart cold
everything is cold

n can never melt again~~

Introducing my new FAMILY

2007-12-03T10:35:00.000+08:00

17 October 2007

I registered maself as a part of the myvians family

Day by day..

I become part of the family

Closer than i can never imagine

They r super cool

Especially the Myvians Gurlsz...

We shared the same passion..

We talked not only bout cars

We talked bout health, bout work..sharing experiences, sharing ups n downs

We spent time together,laughing together..doing lots n lots xtvts together

I love ma new family

They bring me out from all huff n puff i had for these last 2months

THEY R THE MYVIANS!

HOP at McD Kota Damansara..we love McD..i'm loving it..

At Wedding ceremony of one of the family members

The Myvians Gurlsz

Celebrating my birthday (241107) at genting..yhanz buddies for the surprise..Agensi,Lilo,Dfad,Adie,Pdott,EG and Cdeq..thanz guys

many more coming soon..we just had our family day at Melaka..where 40cars participated..

i hate u but i love u

2007-09-18T22:53:00.000+08:00

plz get rid of ma life
i hate u
but i love u
makin jauh aku lari..makin dekat ia dtg
jgn hampiri aku
makin cuba aku lupakan..makin sukar aku rasa

damn U!
it's not U..cuma keadaan dan masa..

YEAH..mcm mana aku nk jauhkan dari keadaan n masa..yg makin menghimpit...membelenggu aku..i cant get rid of it!

sharing and caring? is it worth everything?

2007-09-11T21:24:00.000+08:00

M : D..he's getting engaged..soon..
D : So wat?!!
M : I am sad.
D : Damn it..you r crying because he is having a gud time with his own girlfriend? R U pathetic or should i just let U cry dear?

Sad Y? because a best friend of yours getting engaged with his beloved girlfren? Or because he is more than a best friend to U? Or mayb between U and him already have that strange 'loving' feeling which means U r in love with somebody's boyfriend..how did it happen?

Wat ppl may see..u r a BITCH..flirting with somebody's boyfriend a.k.a bestfriend to urs..but did they really know and understand wat had happened between these 2 'innocents'?by the way..first of all..dont easily judging ppl becoz once it happend to U..damn hell u'll regret it!GOD forbid..yeah..between man n woman,they can never b bestfriend..different thing goes to girl n boy..when it become to man n woman..suddenly,it will involve a feeling,strange feeling..n believe me..this can happen to anyone..even anyhow u had try to avoid it.

So..my Q is..is it wrong to love n be in love with somebody's boyfriend?BTW..sharing is caring..but reality is..nobody in this world(women) can accept that they r sharing theirs unless they r in the 3rd party shoes..but for guys..they seem never enuff with one woman in his life..because one woman will never satisfy them..they will find a woman that can b a shoulder,an umbrella,a place they r sharing jokes n tears..n they will find another woman with pretty face,good body shape..another woman than that can cook very well,know how to decor the house..very maticulous..BUT NOT FOR WOMAN..they juz need a guy that they can rely on..an umbrella for them..a shoulder for them to cry on..that's Y when become to the 3rd party..xkisahla boyfren org ke laki org,i juz need sumone yg bleh comfortkan i ble i ada problem..that's it! Plus, a woman nowadays..they r able to feed herself,get herself good house by her own,buy a sport car by her own..but they juz need a guy as a shelter..sebagai teman..so,xkisahla kongsi ker aper ker..so,dont over misjudge them..

SHARING THE SAME GUY..how can u ppl imagining it in ur own way..once again..GOD FORBID!--and for a guy..dont b too selfish by easily saying that u like or love sumone else if u r already says that to other girl..u may give a big hope to another innocent girl by not even thinking sumday u may broke her fragile heart badly..

make ur choice..

hurt urself before u gave a chance for others to hurt u..

Mampukah ape yg kita bina hari ni membawa kita ke hadapan?

2007-08-15T14:06:00.000+08:00

aloooo dearest..
now i'm back..after long tiring months n weeks..(when did i post my last entry?--forgot alredy lo)..

31stjuly2007..i got my butt on my own chair..in my own cubical..at my workplace..--i love my workplace..am i?yeah i really do..this place..jauh dari segala kesesakan yg aku x suka..i mean..i hate those jammed n banjiran manusia in KL..n thank God..i manage to work out my project here..in Bangi..where out of sudden..i can hav my own sweet time at my workplace..

"Stratigraphic Simulation in Sequence Stratigraphy and Basin Analysis"--the title for my Individual Industrial Project (IIP). sound 'delicious' i guess..n finally 2day..i found out that project ni..i am the second person will do it practically and third person to know it theritically in P*******..OMG..it add more spice in it..wakaka..hambek ko..rasala padahnye..saper suh pilih tajuk tu..nges nges nges..nvrming..i'll try to work it out as good as i can..

this week..gonna b the 3rd week im doing this literature review..i'v played with the software and overall..i got the overview bout it..

im stucked..really..im on my way writing the 1st report..--literature review should it b..huh..others were working very hard..but not me..i dunno y..my colleagues were'nt in today so i cant hav my chit chat session..and supposely i can concentrate on my writing...but sumthing keep disturbing me..`a beautiful mistake iv gone through all this whole year and it still continue even here..how on earth i can get rid of it..i tried..so may times..but still i failed..im not tough enuff i guess..i wish the feeling could fade easily but it's not..

i love my workplace..n also..suka sgt umah sewa skang..i feel like home..n also the neighbours yg baik2..and another thing is..CHYMOK..the cat yg sgt lovely yg suddenly dtg kt umah--kucing sesat..n dah lekat kat umah..everyday b4 pegi ofis..she will wait for us leaving n gives us a look of muka-budak-kne-tinggal-mak-ayah tu...she's so adorable..

i cant wait to finish my project...i want to stepinto the real world of working-life...practising everything i hv learned b4 in master programme..n the best thing is..i got touch by the iklan from P*******..with the tagline..'mampukah ape yg kita bina hari ni membawa kita ke hadapan?'

Kiss the rain!

2007-06-19T17:29:00.000+08:00

My Friend when I think of you.
I think of all that we've been through.
All the times we argue and fight,
I know deep inside that it isn't right.
I, then feel bad and a lot of pain.
It feels like I've fallen from the sky like the rain.
I love you dear friend with all of my heart.
But now that you're gone I've fallen apart.
I'm getting better as the days go by.

I wish sometimes this was all a big lie.

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Maya Angelou

An answer...i really found sumthing..this place (UTP) has offered me sumthing that i can never erase..never demolished..i found tru friends. instead of calling friend..may b some of 'em i can really call sibling..There is an amazing amount of warmth coming in my way, and it's all coming from the people whom i,v choosed to have in my life -- the people i felt proud to be call my friends. I was indeed loved by my friends, and i will always be able to count on them for the wise council, unwavering support and positive reinforcement that i need. Everyday,I made time to be with them and enjoyed some of the private jokes and friendly silliness that make my life sweeter.

Now it's the hardest time for us..not gambling in games anymore..not struggling in exams anymore but taking the time..apreciating the time left for us to be together..living together..having meals together..laughing together..playing around together and worst..doing stupid things together.. we r facing the interphasing period where everyone sooner will b back on previous own 'bussiness'..and for me..i not know wat's waiting in front..do i hav chance to redeem the 'flower' from all the thorns i got now?I do believe..today's thorn is always tomorrow's flower..

Perhaps..everyone is happy rite now..we had finished our disasterest lifetime being first cohort here..with s***ing management treated us like s***..but instead of that..we managed to enjoyed a lot..among ourselves..things changed time by time..and the best one...i really learnt a lot from 'em..

i'm gonna miss everything so much

i'm gonna miss my angel so much

i'm gonna miss my devil so much

i'm gonna miss d sisters so much

it's hard for me to trust ppl but here..luckily..i found somebody that i can really put a trust on.

T-H-E _M-O-N-S-T-E-R-S <<<<----we r!

A tribute to all d "TIKUS XPERIMEN"

2007-06-04T18:31:00.000+08:00

'Walau kita cuba sembunyi

Namun terlihat segalanya

Yang tersimpan di hati

Bintang-bintang di malam

Cerah beri cahaya

Tak terhalang menyinari segala'

15July2006..d most memorable date for this 'study' phase where d 1st time i stepped my foot here..in UTP..registering maself as MSc Petroleum Geoscience student at Postgrad Office in BLOK J. Many Q's left unasnwerable..wat else left unsaid?..there we gathered..n most of us..were here not truly come out from our own desire but with full bless by our parents..5 of us..Ju-N,Farah,Rahmani,Me n also Poon(currently working in SLB)..we didn't see anything..just an OVERBURDEN on our shoulders where we thought we were not suppose to b here..not suppose to grab this chance..we were lack of experience n knowledge but we thought that learning from experience was the best way...but anyhow..we were here already..we took d risk (insincerely) n kept motivating oueself n each other that this plasce has more to offer than we realize..

1st 3 months most 'disasterest' time in our life..juz imagined..we took almost 3 months to really get use to everything..most important was our classmates..how to adapt to 'em whom seem clearly known so much thing bout OnG world.."wat d hell we r learning rite now?".."celebrating Aidilfitri in UTP because we r sitting on our papers while ppl r celebrating it?"--so much obstacles we hav gone trough..day by day..we became stronger..we adapted so well..we tried our best..we broke our leg..we enjoyed our studied..we became closer n closer..we build strong relationship between each other..

now..June2007..almost 1 year..n only 1module to go..n we r completing d programme..but ever ppl asked me whether im ready or not?--nvrmind..d answer is HELL NO!--d more i learnt then i feel like there r so much that i still dunno...n im not ready to serve PETRONAS yet..so much stupidity inside meeeee!!

bnda lebih penting...aku lum bersedia..2 b away from both my devil n angel..2 b away from d sisters..i love 'em a lot..so many things being shared here..ups n down..tears n joy..

i cant hide it..i really built a true frenship here..n i dunt wanna it juz faded away like that..hilang dimakan masa..hilang dimamah jarak..hilang ditelan kesibukan..a moment to remember..

n now..presented our PILOT project..contribute by d Ulamers..original idea from SpidEY d'Devil..ULAM..n here i wannna thank all d 1st batch MSc Pet Geoscience members..Sunder, SpidEY, IbuIna, Ubikwan, Min, KakWa, Faizid d'Angel, Tow-Gock, Harris, Juen, Idris, Lan, Pu3, Dehto, Farah n Man..for everty single moment we shared here..we r d pioneer..d tikus xperimen..

SOMETIMES

2007-05-18T18:05:00.000+08:00

I`m an angel, I`m a devil
I am sometimes in between
I`m as bad as it can get and good as it can be
Sometimes I`m a million colors
Sometimes I`m black and white
I am all extremes
Try to figure me out you never can
There`s so many things I am
Sometimes I`m miserable sometimes I`m pitiful
But that`s so typical of all the things I am
I am someone filled with self belief
And haunted by self doubt
I got all the answers
I got nothing figured outI like to be by myself
I hate to be alone
I`m up and I am down
But that`s the part of the thrill
Part of the plan
Part of all of the things
I'm a million contradictions
Sometimes I make no sense
Somtimes I`m perfect
Sometimes I`m a mess
Sometimes I`m not sure who I am

How Cruel Life Can Be??

2007-05-03T20:57:00.000+08:00

"Dani..esk nk ikut aku x"-spidEY @ 12.10a.m 21stApr
"Hmm..aku segan la"- Dani replied

Then..conversation began between me n SpidEY in YM..i think..he never persuade me but i am maself..was very eager to go there..like there was something calling n waiting for me..sumthing that i didnt know wat but the truth was..i knew im gonna enjoy maself wif those kiddos..i like kids!! Later then i went through the schedule n made up my mind..took my laundry basket (cuci baju dlu la)..n keep thinking..should i or shouldnt i?..moreless at 1a.m..i told SpidEY..'wat if i say yes?'..i packed up my stuff then got on bed by 2a.m n woke up at 4.30a.m m d 'journey' started..(haha..sejak bila aku pandai join bidang terjun camni..well..aper salahnye kan?

Arrived at Chenderong Balai (1st time being there) wif SpidEY n AbgFariz..searching out for d school n finally...we were there..it's still early but almost all d students had arrived..as me n SpidEY had an urgent 'nature-call'..we asked 1 gal-stu..'tandas kat mane?'..politely she answered..'pegi straight,belok kiri..kat blkg sane..ikut je ada dia tulis toilet'. So touched..she was so polite..

I looked around d school..so small..they only get a few classrooms but the compound was so clean..so nice..i wonder how they behave..?

As d programme began..it was so easy to get into all those kiddos..they were so nice..polite..innocent n perhaps u can never believe...this so-called SEKOLAH KURANG MURID..they had well-disciplined student although those kiddos can be called; KAMPUNG boy/girl..d well mannered they had shown that their heart never being stained..they have pure heart..

They managed to follow all d programme within time n impressively..they r actually smart enuff as all the IQ test being answered correctly by almost all of them though some Facis n other grown up cant really answered them...they r not that darn stupid..for me..all kids r smart...we cant juz judging them from educational level or background..there muz b sumthing..sumthing that overshadow their talent..sumthing that make them juz failed to exhibit their sparks.. wat to blame? who's d one should carry d responsibility? y cant they succeed? i cried my tears when finally i found standard 5 stu who cant read n write as well as others... wat's d problem dear? u'v been schooling for 5 yrs but still u cant read n write? wat d hell ur teachers been doing all this while? for me..being to school means u can post out a person who can read,write n count well thogh not very excell. Then..still...who's to blame? Y life is so cruel? Who had failed rite now...the pendidik or the student himself? we better ask ourself..

Comparing them with same ages student i had once handling them in this kinda motivation programme...they look smart...they look 'DOWNTOWN'..but sadly..they have very bad manner..they know how to overrule things..they know how to yell back at u...n they start to act like grown ups..for me..their heart can never b so pure compared to those KAMPUNG kids.. though their educational background excellent enuff...but they had bad attitude..

WONDERING still..Y those KAMPUNG kids cant excell (most of them) n Y those DOWNTOWN kids can succeed well..mayb becoz..'xde org amik kisah pon..aku berjaya ke x..kalo gagal pon..leh jadi petani cam ayah..boleh toreh getah cam mak. Pegi sekolah sbb nk jpa kawan2..sbb mak suruh pegi sekolah..blk sekolah main...'-KAMPUNG boy. 'pegi school..ptg ada kelas fardhu ain..mlm ada tuition..bulan dpn xm kne score straight A's..kalo x papa xnk bwk pegi Hong Kong..lgpon Fara ank Uncle Hakim selalu dpt straight A's..nnt mama marah..kne grounded'-DOWNTOWN boy. Am i rite frenss?? WE have to CHANGE their MINDSET!!!!

BTW..this post actually i want to thank enuff to SpidEY for dragging me in my cup-of-tea xtvt n congrats to Abg Fariz n Sherry for organizing this such damn good volunteering programme. N for new friends i met there; Faza,Amir,Bob,Juleo,Farah,Rini n AbgKamarul..u guys r really great!!

my first n foremost

2007-04-29T10:26:00.000+08:00

This isnt my pilot post actually..iv been blogging b4 but not in this 'blogspot'..but my Devil ask me to switch on here..then,i think Y not..bcoz im still on my lane..it is still writing wherever it is..-im not good in writing!!-naah..thats only a failed ppl tend to say so..u wanna write..how bad or how good it is..juz write..being optimist is my best way to avoid from NOT doing anything i wish..go to hell wat will else talking bout u..if u think u r bad..then make urself gud..improve urself..

im here..wif d same intention..d same passion of others (bloggers)..wanna write sumthing that can b shared worlwidely..making new frens..n mayb sharing wat anyone else dun hav chance to xperience so..

then peeps..u r all welcomed here to jot down any comment u wish to..bad or gud..i take all proportionally same!! thanx for visiting..

for my frens..this so-called acknowledgement..i wanna thanks u guys giving me support..giving me ideas..giving me chance..giving me evrything i need..giving me FRIENDSHIP that noone else can ever hav! :: esp my bestest frens here sharing pain n gain (haha)...d 'devil' n 'angel' also their 'sister' (ju-N) n others..