am hurt

24th Nov 2008

~ am getting a year older
~ am 1st time celebrating my birthday as a sumone's wife (supposely)
~ am shud hv a nice day n hvg as much fun on this day with d guy dat i love most

::YES::

# i thanked so much to my parents for coming down to KL just to celebrate it
# i thanked both of my beloved sist and my bro for remember it..for wishing me on my birthday
# i really appreciate my best fren; sha+ken+lisa who being the earliest one wishing my birthday
# i highly appreciate my OPPA, hankee..for treating me during lunch...and bought me secret recipe's cake which i never ask
# n i thanked others who wish me via sms, facebook, friendster

::BUT::

* i waited..n waited..n still waiting until now.. A BIRTHDAY WISH from my HUBBY..

am hurt.
really hurt.
just like waiting for nothing.
just like waiting for a rock to melt.
Y it happened to me?
Y he didn't remember?
Y after am being his wife?
am not sulking..
am just tooooo sad..
very dissaponted.
felt like am not precious to him.
i always hope..
that he'll be the most wonderful guy in my life.
loving me like there's no others in this world.

but it's too far to reach
too far to catch
too far to see
too far to touch
n too far to feel

am cold
my heart cold
everything is cold

n can never melt again~~

Introducing my new FAMILY

17 October 2007

I registered maself as a part of the myvians family

Day by day..

I become part of the family

Closer than i can never imagine

They r super cool

Especially the Myvians Gurlsz...

We shared the same passion..

We talked not only bout cars

We talked bout health, bout work..sharing experiences, sharing ups n downs

We spent time together,laughing together..doing lots n lots xtvts together

I love ma new family

They bring me out from all huff n puff i had for these last 2months

THEY R THE MYVIANS!

HOP at McD Kota Damansara..we love McD..i'm loving it..

At Wedding ceremony of one of the family members

The Myvians Gurlsz

Celebrating my birthday (241107) at genting..yhanz buddies for the surprise..Agensi,Lilo,Dfad,Adie,Pdott,EG and Cdeq..thanz guys

many more coming soon..we just had our family day at Melaka..where 40cars participated..

i hate u but i love u

plz get rid of ma life
i hate u
but i love u
makin jauh aku lari..makin dekat ia dtg
jgn hampiri aku
makin cuba aku lupakan..makin sukar aku rasa

damn U!
it's not U..cuma keadaan dan masa..

YEAH..mcm mana aku nk jauhkan dari keadaan n masa..yg makin menghimpit...membelenggu aku..i cant get rid of it!

sharing and caring? is it worth everything?

M : D..he's getting engaged..soon..
D : So wat?!!
M : I am sad.
D : Damn it..you r crying because he is having a gud time with his own girlfriend? R U pathetic or should i just let U cry dear?

Sad Y? because a best friend of yours getting engaged with his beloved girlfren? Or because he is more than a best friend to U? Or mayb between U and him already have that strange 'loving' feeling which means U r in love with somebody's boyfriend..how did it happen?

Wat ppl may see..u r a BITCH..flirting with somebody's boyfriend a.k.a bestfriend to urs..but did they really know and understand wat had happened between these 2 'innocents'?by the way..first of all..dont easily judging ppl becoz once it happend to U..damn hell u'll regret it!GOD forbid..yeah..between man n woman,they can never b bestfriend..different thing goes to girl n boy..when it become to man n woman..suddenly,it will involve a feeling,strange feeling..n believe me..this can happen to anyone..even anyhow u had try to avoid it.

So..my Q is..is it wrong to love n be in love with somebody's boyfriend?BTW..sharing is caring..but reality is..nobody in this world(women) can accept that they r sharing theirs unless they r in the 3rd party shoes..but for guys..they seem never enuff with one woman in his life..because one woman will never satisfy them..they will find a woman that can b a shoulder,an umbrella,a place they r sharing jokes n tears..n they will find another woman with pretty face,good body shape..another woman than that can cook very well,know how to decor the house..very maticulous..BUT NOT FOR WOMAN..they juz need a guy that they can rely on..an umbrella for them..a shoulder for them to cry on..that's Y when become to the 3rd party..xkisahla boyfren org ke laki org,i juz need sumone yg bleh comfortkan i ble i ada problem..that's it! Plus, a woman nowadays..they r able to feed herself,get herself good house by her own,buy a sport car by her own..but they juz need a guy as a shelter..sebagai teman..so,xkisahla kongsi ker aper ker..so,dont over misjudge them..

SHARING THE SAME GUY..how can u ppl imagining it in ur own way..once again..GOD FORBID!--and for a guy..dont b too selfish by easily saying that u like or love sumone else if u r already says that to other girl..u may give a big hope to another innocent girl by not even thinking sumday u may broke her fragile heart badly..


make ur choice..

hurt urself before u gave a chance for others to hurt u..

Mampukah ape yg kita bina hari ni membawa kita ke hadapan?

aloooo dearest..
now i'm back..after long tiring months n weeks..(when did i post my last entry?--forgot alredy lo)..

31stjuly2007..i got my butt on my own chair..in my own cubical..at my workplace..--i love my workplace..am i?yeah i really do..this place..jauh dari segala kesesakan yg aku x suka..i mean..i hate those jammed n banjiran manusia in KL..n thank God..i manage to work out my project here..in Bangi..where out of sudden..i can hav my own sweet time at my workplace..

"Stratigraphic Simulation in Sequence Stratigraphy and Basin Analysis"--the title for my Individual Industrial Project (IIP). sound 'delicious' i guess..n finally 2day..i found out that project ni..i am the second person will do it practically and third person to know it theritically in P*******..OMG..it add more spice in it..wakaka..hambek ko..rasala padahnye..saper suh pilih tajuk tu..nges nges nges..nvrming..i'll try to work it out as good as i can..

this week..gonna b the 3rd week im doing this literature review..i'v played with the software and overall..i got the overview bout it..

im stucked..really..im on my way writing the 1st report..--literature review should it b..huh..others were working very hard..but not me..i dunno y..my colleagues were'nt in today so i cant hav my chit chat session..and supposely i can concentrate on my writing...but sumthing keep disturbing me..`a beautiful mistake iv gone through all this whole year and it still continue even here..how on earth i can get rid of it..i tried..so may times..but still i failed..im not tough enuff i guess..i wish the feeling could fade easily but it's not..

i love my workplace..n also..suka sgt umah sewa skang..i feel like home..n also the neighbours yg baik2..and another thing is..CHYMOK..the cat yg sgt lovely yg suddenly dtg kt umah--kucing sesat..n dah lekat kat umah..everyday b4 pegi ofis..she will wait for us leaving n gives us a look of muka-budak-kne-tinggal-mak-ayah tu...she's so adorable..

i cant wait to finish my project...i want to stepinto the real world of working-life...practising everything i hv learned b4 in master programme..n the best thing is..i got touch by the iklan from P*******..with the tagline..'mampukah ape yg kita bina hari ni membawa kita ke hadapan?'

Kiss the rain!

My Friend when I think of you.
I think of all that we've been through.
All the times we argue and fight,
I know deep inside that it isn't right.
I, then feel bad and a lot of pain.
It feels like I've fallen from the sky like the rain.
I love you dear friend with all of my heart.
But now that you're gone I've fallen apart.
I'm getting better as the days go by.

I wish sometimes this was all a big lie.

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Maya Angelou

An answer...i really found sumthing..this place (UTP) has offered me sumthing that i can never erase..never demolished..i found tru friends. instead of calling friend..may b some of 'em i can really call sibling..There is an amazing amount of warmth coming in my way, and it's all coming from the people whom i,v choosed to have in my life -- the people i felt proud to be call my friends. I was indeed loved by my friends, and i will always be able to count on them for the wise council, unwavering support and positive reinforcement that i need. Everyday,I made time to be with them and enjoyed some of the private jokes and friendly silliness that make my life sweeter.

Now it's the hardest time for us..not gambling in games anymore..not struggling in exams anymore but taking the time..apreciating the time left for us to be together..living together..having meals together..laughing together..playing around together and worst..doing stupid things together.. we r facing the interphasing period where everyone sooner will b back on previous own 'bussiness'..and for me..i not know wat's waiting in front..do i hav chance to redeem the 'flower' from all the thorns i got now?I do believe..today's thorn is always tomorrow's flower..

Perhaps..everyone is happy rite now..we had finished our disasterest lifetime being first cohort here..with s***ing management treated us like s***..but instead of that..we managed to enjoyed a lot..among ourselves..things changed time by time..and the best one...i really learnt a lot from 'em..

i'm gonna miss everything so much

i'm gonna miss my angel so much

i'm gonna miss my devil so much

i'm gonna miss d sisters so much

it's hard for me to trust ppl but here..luckily..i found somebody that i can really put a trust on.

T-H-E _M-O-N-S-T-E-R-S <<<<----we r!

A tribute to all d "TIKUS XPERIMEN"

'Walau kita cuba sembunyi

Namun terlihat segalanya

Yang tersimpan di hati

Bintang-bintang di malam

Cerah beri cahaya

Tak terhalang menyinari segala'

15July2006..d most memorable date for this 'study' phase where d 1st time i stepped my foot here..in UTP..registering maself as MSc Petroleum Geoscience student at Postgrad Office in BLOK J. Many Q's left unasnwerable..wat else left unsaid?..there we gathered..n most of us..were here not truly come out from our own desire but with full bless by our parents..5 of us..Ju-N,Farah,Rahmani,Me n also Poon(currently working in SLB)..we didn't see anything..just an OVERBURDEN on our shoulders where we thought we were not suppose to b here..not suppose to grab this chance..we were lack of experience n knowledge but we thought that learning from experience was the best way...but anyhow..we were here already..we took d risk (insincerely) n kept motivating oueself n each other that this plasce has more to offer than we realize..

1st 3 months most 'disasterest' time in our life..juz imagined..we took almost 3 months to really get use to everything..most important was our classmates..how to adapt to 'em whom seem clearly known so much thing bout OnG world.."wat d hell we r learning rite now?".."celebrating Aidilfitri in UTP because we r sitting on our papers while ppl r celebrating it?"--so much obstacles we hav gone trough..day by day..we became stronger..we adapted so well..we tried our best..we broke our leg..we enjoyed our studied..we became closer n closer..we build strong relationship between each other..

now..June2007..almost 1 year..n only 1module to go..n we r completing d programme..but ever ppl asked me whether im ready or not?--nvrmind..d answer is HELL NO!--d more i learnt then i feel like there r so much that i still dunno...n im not ready to serve PETRONAS yet..so much stupidity inside meeeee!!

bnda lebih penting...aku lum bersedia..2 b away from both my devil n angel..2 b away from d sisters..i love 'em a lot..so many things being shared here..ups n down..tears n joy..

i cant hide it..i really built a true frenship here..n i dunt wanna it juz faded away like that..hilang dimakan masa..hilang dimamah jarak..hilang ditelan kesibukan..a moment to remember..

n now..presented our PILOT project..contribute by d Ulamers..original idea from SpidEY d'Devil..ULAM..n here i wannna thank all d 1st batch MSc Pet Geoscience members..Sunder, SpidEY, IbuIna, Ubikwan, Min, KakWa, Faizid d'Angel, Tow-Gock, Harris, Juen, Idris, Lan, Pu3, Dehto, Farah n Man..for everty single moment we shared here..we r d pioneer..d tikus xperimen..